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Christian Sex Education for Kids

Questions Kids Ask About Sex That Make Parents Panic (And What to Say)

Kids ask shocking questions about sex. They’re blunt. And that’s completely normal. It’s important to remember one key truth-those questions aren’t shocking or blunt to them. They’re simply curious and want to know. When kids ask questions about sex, they’re not just asking for information—they’re asking if you’re a safe person to talk to. If your child brings these questions to you, that’s a good sign. It means you’ve become a safe place for them to ask. You are a far better guide for your child than search engines, pornography, or their peers. That moment matters more than we realize. Kids ask questions about sex when we least expect it.
Sometimes they ask in the car.
Sometimes at bedtime.
Sometimes in the middle of a movie.

And many parents freeze. Not because they don’t care—but because they don’t know what to say.

Here are three questions that often make parents panic:

  1. “Where do babies come from?”
  2. “What’s porn?”
  3. “Why does that boy want to be a girl?”
Here are a few sample responses. Of course, the way you answer will depend on your child’s age and maturity. Let’s walk through a few ways parents might respond.

How Parents Can Respond

1. For littles: That’s such a good question! Babies come from a mom and a dad. Just like it takes multiple ingredients to make brownies, it takes two ingredients to make a baby. The mom provides the first ingredient, the egg, which are from the woman’s ovaries inside the body here. God has made the body incredible and these eggs are very tiny. Woman are born with eggs in their ovaries! But for the egg to form into a baby, it needs another ingredient, called sperm, which can only come from a man. God makes sperm in the boy’s body. Sperm are made in the testicles. Once a baby forms, it grows in the uterus, which is where you grew! What other questions do you have?

Older children: Good question. Babies usually come from sex. Sometimes, people get help from medicine and doctors to help them have babies. We can talk about that too. First, do you know what sex is?

If child’s answer is “Yes”—During sex, sperm are released from the man’s penis, and they swim towards an egg in the woman’s body. Amazingly, sperm are designed to swim—using a tail like a tadpole—to reach the egg. If a girl has ovulated, which means one of her ovaries released an egg, that egg will wait for a couple days to meet with a sperm, and a baby will form. If there is no sperm in her body, from sex, then the egg will die off, which is no big deal. But sperm go into the woman’s body from having sex. What questions does that make you think of?

If child’s answer is “No” you explain that sex is when the penis enters the vagina, and it can release sperm into the vagina, which meets with an egg. Kids shouldn’t have sex, because sex is a big deal, and adults should always give permission to each other before they have sex together. Some people choose to have sex before marriage. (Share more of your values here, then see answer above)

2. For littles: That’s a good question. Where did you hear that word?” Start by asking where they heard the word, so you understand what they’re asking. Then, use a kind tone while you explain that porn is pictures or videos of naked people, which is never healthy for us to see, because it’s disrespectful to those people and to ourselves. It isn’t loving or kind. You can come and tell me if someone ever shows you it. Remember to STOP if you do see it (Shut your eyes, tell an adult, open your mind to other things, and play something else).

For older kids: Porn is pictures or videos of people who are naked. Our family knows and believes that porn is so harmful to those in pictures and videos, and those who watch it. It’s not what sex is. Porn is a way to exploit people, which means to use them for someone else’s benefit. But we know porn benefits no one. What have you heard about it?

3. For littles: That’s a good question. I don’t know much about him, because I haven’t talked to that boy. I have some ideas, but I’m curious if you’ve talked to them?

If child answers “Yes”, talk more about that little boy’s answer and your family’s beliefs. Encourage showing the other child empathy, kindness, and encourage a refrain from bullying or judgment. End by reinforcing God’s good and loving design.

If child answers “No”, explain how big feelings can feel, discuss harms of bullying, and consider discussing another real example of someone you know or have heard about and the reasons for their gender transition. End discussion with a return to God’s love for your child and the other child, and emphasize the goodness of God’s design.

For older kids: “Good question. What are your friends saying about that?” Share your beliefs and see the answer above. Consider discussing basic conversation on the impact of sin, and the brokenness of our fallen world.

These are suggested baseline answers. You know your child and family best. You’ll know the time available to you in the moment. And you are the one present when answering, not me (although see my curriculum to get MY help right at home). Sex ed is not prescriptive, conversation changes family to family.

While these questions may catch parents off guard, they’re great opportunities for healthy and holy discussion.

Remember that when kids ask about sex, they’re rarely looking for a long lecture (although a few might enjoy one!). They’re simply asking if you are a safe person to talk to. You don’t need perfect answers. You need a willingness to stay calm, curious, and keep the conversation going. Every honest conversation builds trust, and that trust will matter even more when the questions get deeper in the teenage years.

For such a time as this,
Kristen