In Their Homes, schools, or churches
For some of us, the idea of talking openly and honestly with our kids about sexuality is about as appealing as… well, nails on a chalkboard. Or walking barefoot on a pile of Lego’s. For those shaped by church culture, it may bring up our own discomfort, fear, and lack of language.
So, if you feel resistance in your body when you think about these conversations, you’re normal.
And still—this is important work. That is why you’re here!
As a sex ed teacher, I’m not interested in being edgy, permissive, or giving “too much too soon,” but I’m interested in sex ed because there are real, long-term benefits for our kids when we engage sexuality proactively instead of reactively. Here are three reasons that pushing past the awkwardness is worth it.
One of the most practical and overlooked reasons to talk to kids early about their bodies is the prevention of sexual abuse.
When children know the correct names for their parts, understand basic boundaries, and have language for what is and isn’t appropriate, it sends a VERY clear signal to potential perpetrators: this child is informed, and there are attentive adults in their life.
Research consistently shows that children who accurately name body parts and who have been taught that their body belongs to them are less vulnerable to abuse—and more likely to report it if something does happen. Groomers note this.
Naming doesn’t require graphic detail or adult-level explanations. It looks like calmly using words like penis and vulva, teaching consent around touch (“No one should ever ask you to undress, or take pictures of you without clothes,” or “You don’t have to touch anyone you don’t want to”), and reinforcing that there are no secrets about this.
Silence doesn’t keep kids safe. Information, relationships, and clarity do. Which leads me to point number two…
2. Early conversations establish you as the trustworthy expert
If we don’t talk to our kids about sex, someone else will. And often, that “someone else” is the internet, peers, and media with zero interest in your child’s formation—spiritually, emotionally, or physically.
When we talk to kids early and often (in age-appropriate ways), we build trust as we give information. It’s like we’re saying, “You can come to me. I don’t panic. I will never shame you. I can handle questions.”
That matters far more than having talks perfectly (as if there is a perfect on this earth).
Kids don’t need parents who have the answers as much as parents who are willing to engage, admit when they don’t know, and keep the conversation open. When sexuality is treated as something discussable, not taboo, children learn who to go to when situations arise later. You’re positioning yourself as a safe, steady guide.
3. God’s design isn’t a moral code as much as it is joyful
Too many of us grew up with a version of sex education that focused almost exclusively on danger, rules, and fear. “Avoid that.” “Don’t do this or this!” “Guard yourself.” “You’re an object of temptation, protect yourself!”
That’s not the Gospel. And great sex ed connects to the Gospel. Sin, grace, the need for a savior, redemption, hope.
From the beginning, God’s design for bodies, intimacy, and sexuality was declared good. Not permissible or just something to tolerate. Good. Meaningful. And it is worth celebrating.
When we talk to kids about sexuality in hushed tones or in the context of warnings, we unintentionally communicate that bodies are problems and desire is dangerous. But when we root conversations in God’s good design—creation, relationship, covenant, joy—we give our kids a truthful and compelling vision.
Our hope isn’t just that they avoid harm but that they grow up seeing their bodies as gifts and sexuality as something that, when stewarded wisely, reflects God’s heart.
Yes, these conversations can feel uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Quite the opposite-they’re holy. And we are the right ones to have them in our homes, schools, and churches.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV
Note: Need help developing all the language for great sex ed? That’s what the curriculum is for! Get a video curriculum today, keep it forever.
Kristen