I recently received an email from a mom of three that stopped me in my tracks—not because it was shocking, but because it was so familiar. She wrote:
“Both my husband and I were raised with one awkward ‘birds and bees’ talk. We have 2 older children (26 and 25 now) who we took on their weekend getaways with purity conversations and have seen so clearly over the last 5 years where that failed them. The Lord’s grace has been poured out, but we want to do things differently with our youngest… Finding your curriculum is truly an answer to prayer.”
She mentioned the familiar fallback for many Christian families: a purity weekend. A short retreat-style experience with your child, focused on conversations around puberty, sex, and the Christian call to remain pure.
Hear me clearly: Purity weekends are not good sex ed.
Do they come from a place of love? Usually-yes.
Do they hold good intentions? Of course.
But are they effective in shaping healthy, holy sexuality in our kids? Not even close.
With over 15 years of experience as a sex educator working specifically with Christian families, I’ve heard far too many stories like hers—stories of parents who genuinely wanted to do “the right thing,” and hoped a one-time, concentrated effort would cover everything their child needed to know.
But here’s the reality: you cannot microwave discipleship.
And you cannot condense a lifetime of crucial conversations into a single weekend and expect it to stick.
Purity weekends are often a swing and a miss because they assume the job is done in one sitting but actually, sexuality is not a topic to be “checked off the list.” Our children grow in stages—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually—and their understanding of sex and identity grows too. Their worldview grows as they’re exposed to more of culture, church, and other people. A weekend talk can’t possibly keep up with that kind of change!
Purity weekends also tend to elevate sex to this massive topic and rely somewhat on fear, shame, and legalism. Many purity events emphasize the dangers of sex outside of marriage, without offering the beauty of God’s design for intimacy or a full understanding of their bodies. This is not good sex ed! It’s not even biblical or holy. It is legalism which breeds confusion, guilt, or secrecy when real-life struggles arise. Purity weekends tend to naturally isolate sex from the rest of life (that’s somewhat their point!).
Instead of weaving conversations about bodies, relationships, identity, boundaries, and God’s goodness into everyday life, purity weekends make “the talk” feel like a standalone anomaly—an awkward event to be survived, not a relationship to be nurtured. They don’t prepare our kids for real-world complexity. A lot can be said in a weekend, but not everything. What happens when your child encounters porn at 12? Or hears misinformation at youth group? Or has questions at 16 they didn’t have at 11 and now they haven’t talked to you about the topic in years? One weekend will never cover it all.
Good sex ed is discipleship, ongoing conversation, and inviting God into every stage of a child’s understanding of their body, desires, relationships, and purpose.
That’s why I created Sex Ed Reclaimed in the first place—to give Christian parents a better model. One that doesn’t rely on fear or formula. One that doesn’t reduce sexuality to virginity. One that sees your role not as a one-time lecturer, but as a lifelong guide.
We don’t need more mountaintop moments of discomfort—we need hundreds of everyday conversations filled with connection, truth, and grace.
And the good news? You don’t have to do it alone.
Inside our massive video library, you’ll find guided conversations for every stage—from preschool through high school—all rooted in Scripture, science, and the lived experience of real families. You’ll get tools, language, and confidence so you’re never left saying, “I just don’t know how to express this.”
Purity weekends may have seemed like a helpful tool at one time. But today, we know better—and we can do better. Let’s leave behind tired methods that don’t work and step boldly into the everyday, messy, beautiful work of raising kids with a healthy, holy view of sex.
Because it’s not a one-time talk. It’s a lifetime of truth.
And you are absolutely capable of leading it.
Want help getting started? View our curriculum pages today.
Kristen