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The most common question I receive from Christians is not about their own children or my most popular tip for discussing sex ed with kids from a holy perspective. What Christians often want to know is how I became a sex ed teacher in the first place. It’s not a sought after career for the average Christian and I recognize that, which means there is a wonderful story behind it. I go into that story more here. While there are Christian ‘influencers’ who get into this work because they develop a passion for it or see a crisis they feel God is calling them to, I’ve actually been teaching about sex and sexuality since 2010. I don’t know many people in the Christian community who plan to become a sex educator. Yet the Lord has graciously led me to this life-changing work. I believe He called me because it is important work. And I love it. While I began this career 14 years ago as an awkward 20-something teaching college students nearly my same age, I now have over a decade of sexual health experience teaching in hundreds of classrooms. I love sex ed only because the Lord has called me to it and I want to reclaim it.
Why didn’t I dream of this career? Because I wasn’t comfortable talking about sex! I didn’t know anyone who was. At school, I didn’t learn much beyond basic biological facts. My family–as amazing as they are–didn’t talk about sex at home. My friends weren’t all Christians, but all came from conservative families where it was simply expected that we just wouldn’t ‘do it’ and thus conversation was a moot point. I also grew up in a wonderful church, yet I can’t recall many instances in which sex was a topic of conversation. These experiences sound familiar to many who grew up in the church. Yet, this experience needs to change. And that change starts with you as a parent!
A common dilemma parents face is how and when to talk about sex. Essentially, they lack the details of how to have ‘the talk.’ This is completely understandable. The ‘birds and the bees’ wasn’t modeled well for the majority of Gen X, Millennials, or Baby Boomers. Those who are parenting or grandparenting today likely never heard a productive and effective sex talk.
For generations, silence has won out. Or, in other cases, parents assumed that a single conversation was enough. Some offloaded the whole topic entirely by gifting a special book about puberty or changing bodies and called it a day.
I don’t blame them. Talking about sex is hard.
As I said, my parents were wonderful! They loved me and did their best. But they didn’t know what was coming. Explicit content was on its way in the most accessible capacity the world has ever seen. This would affect my generation in ways we couldn’t imagine. It would also become the world’s sex educator.
The largest teacher of my generation had arrived. But we had no idea.
For the average family, talking about sex should be hundreds of conversations over the course of a lifetime. Most kids need to hear things more than once. Kids are full of questions they want answered. Then, they come upon circumstances, experiences, or trials in their life which bring up more questions.

Our Culture is Hypersexualized

It doesn’t take a sex ed teacher to know that sex is everywhere. Explicit content arrives within seconds to most devices. Pornographic material is now a PG-13 Netflix show. Jokes about sex, queer couples, sexualization of men and women, and overt references to having sex are in children’s movies. The world is talking loudly, regularly, and through all kinds of channels.

God called us to be the ‘salt and light’ to those around us (Matthew 5). Christ asked us to treat others how we would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). This is not apparent in most forms of media, news stories, or even in everyday life. However, we can seek to partially fulfill both of these commands when we talk to our children about sex.
Do you believe this?
Does talking about sex show our children we love them as well as communicate that we are different from the world, but still in it? Absolutely! We are not meant to conform to patterns of this world, but rather we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). Sex ed can help accomplish this.
I fully believe that God is the original sex educator. It might sound strange, but I know it to be true. He does the teaching, and we listen. Through His Word, God He speaks to us on the intimacy of the Trinity, the ways we can honor Him with our body, and the blessings of sexual fidelity in marriage. He speaks to sexual immorality over and over again.
The earlier we understand this and communicate about bodies, sex, sexuality, dating, and healthy relationships, the more our kids will feel comfortable with us discussing them. The more we talk, the more we’ll show our kids we’re safe people when it comes to difficult topics. The more we talk, the more opportunities we’ll have to honor the Lord, glorify His name, and express His good desires for our kids.
For such a time as this,
Kristen
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